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The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 4)

Amazon.com Price:  $2.65 (as of 05/05/2019 09:56 PST- Details)

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NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If so, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, on account of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking at the back of every log. The pages of this book, I’m sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head must be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down all the history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

“The Baudelaire orphans looked out the grimy window of the train and gazed at the gloomy blackness of the Finite Forest, wondering if their lives would ever recuperate,” begins The Miserable Mill. When you’ve got been introduced to the three Baudelaire orphans in any of Lemony Snicket’s previous novels, you know that not only will their lives not recuperate, they’ll get much worse. In the fourth installment in the “Series of Unfortunate Events,” the sorrowful siblings, having once again narrowly escaped the clutches of the evil Count Olaf, are escorted by the kindly but ineffectual Mr. Poe to their newest “home” at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill. Much to their horror (if not surprise), their dormitory at the mill is crowded and damp, they are forced to work with spinning saw blades, they are fed only one meal a day (not counting the chewing gum they get for lunch), and worst of all, Count Olaf lurks in a dreadful disguise as Shirley the receptionist just down the street. Not even the clever wordplay and ludicrous plot twists could keep this story buoyant–reading about the mean-spirited foreman, the deadly blades, poor Klaus (hypnotized and “reprogrammed”), and the relentless hopelessness of the children’s situation only made us feel gloomy. Fans of these wickedly funny, suspenseful adventures won’t wish to miss out on a single one, but we’re hoping the next tales have the delicate balance of delight and disaster we’ve come to expect from this exciting series. (Ages 9 to 12)

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