The Reappearing Act: Coming Out as Gay on a College Basketball Team Led by Born-Again Christians

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Description

It’s hard enough coming out, but playing basketball for a nationally ranked school and trying to determine your sexual identity in the closeted and paranoid world of big-time college sports—that’s a challenge.

Kate Fagan’s love for basketball and for her religious teammates at the University of Colorado used to be tested by the gut-wrenching realization that she could no longer ignore the feelings of otherness inside her. In trying to blend in, Kate had created a hilariously incongruous world for herself in Boulder. Her best friends were a part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where they ran weekly Bible studies and attended an Evangelical Free Church. For almost a year, Kate joined them and learned all she could about Christianity—even holding their hands as they prayed for others “living a sinful way of life.” Every time the issue of homosexuality arose, she felt as if a neon sign appeared over her head, with a giant arrow pointed downward. All through these prayer sessions, she would steadily keep her eyes open, taking a look around the circle at the closed eyelids of her friends, listening to the earnestness of their words.

Kate didn’t have a vocabulary for discussing who she in reality used to be and what she felt when she used to be younger; all she knew used to be that she had a secret. In The Reappearing Act, she brings the reader along for the ride as she slowly accepts her new reality and takes the first steps toward embracing her true self.

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