When Clowns Attack: A Survival Guide

Amazon.com Price: $10.72 (as of 09/11/2019 16:21 PST- Details)

Categories: Arts and Photography, Books, Circus, Humor, Humor and Entertainment, Parodies, Performing Arts, Politics and Social Sciences, Popular Culture, Satire, Social Sciences, Subjects, Theater

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THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU

Coulrophobia–the fear of clowns–is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but on no account dangerous. You’d be unsuitable. Clowns never reveal their real names, and get dressed to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don’t apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?), they have got countless places to hide weapons on their person, and their appearance is downright unnatural. Clowns are the scariest people on the earth, and the truth is, they’re coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity.
In this comprehensive guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino–founder of the anti-clown group Red Nose Alert–delves into the terrifying clown underworld to give you the knowledge you want to know to offer protection to yourself from these seemingly innocuous gagmen, the usage of his proven four-step system: ASSESS, ANALYZE, DEFEND, PROTECT. Included within are instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat, tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, and tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors. Most importantly, you’ll learn what to do when clowns attack… because it’s only a matter of time before they do.

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